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.. impotent.It wasn't a good feeling.Calm. Relax. Quiet. The words scorched through my brain, but they had no meaning. They were just sounds, noises I had once heard.Calm Relax. Quiet. The words held no power over me. There was no center for me to find because there was no me. I had finally lost it. I was no longer in charge of the asylum.CALM. RELAX. QUIET. I was hanging on those words, trying to imbue them with meaning. I needed them. I needed them as an anchor to a world that just plain wasn't making sense any longer. I needed them to find myself because I had lost me somewhere along the way.CALM! RELAX! QUIET! I let those sounds fill me. I let the meaning of those sounds suffuse me. Not the fucking meaning you can find in a dictionary; their meaning to ME. I let them anchor me in the storm of emotion going through me. I wrapped them around me, letting them calm me. The black rage that was boiling in the pit of my stomach like bile, seeking a way out, trying to own me yet again.. Never mind… I would deal with it when I had to. After another 10 minutes of driving though the lush Virginia countryside, Matt announced that we had arrived. The photos Stevie had e-mailed me hadn’t come close to doing this place justice. As we drove up the gently curving cobbled driveway I stared in awe at the house. It was enormous, with natural timber and huge windows everywhere you looked. On one side, the windows extended from the ground to the gables capping the second floor. ‘That would be the library,’ I thought in amazement. ‘I’m going to have to buy more books.’ The house was surrounded by well-maintained gardens filled with roses and brightly colored annuals. About an acre and a half was fenced off with the house sitting in the middle. The lawns were putting green quality. As we pulled up to the door I felt nervous, excited, and strangely peaceful. According to the run down Stevie had sent me, the house was only seven years old, yet it had an Old World look about it..
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'You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?' my brother cut in, 'You actually like sucking your brother's dick.''Oh yes,' I moaned, my mouth engaged in telling the truth before my brain could intervene.I expected him to be put off by my eagerness, but if anything the opposite was true. I guess a blowjob from someone who's into it is going to give a lot more pleasure to the one on the receiving end so he wasn't putting up too much of an objection even if it was his brother sucking away at his manhood.'I never knew my own brother would make such an eager cock hungry dicksucker,' he laughed, pushing his dick over my lips.'Oh yeah, don't knock it until you've tried,' I gasped, 'It feels so good, brother, taking your cock in my mouth.''Hmm, maybe you'd like to take it elsewhere too,' he said, surprising me, 'I haven't had a good fuck in so long. Would you like my dick up your ass, brother?'I hadn't really thought about that, hadn't thought that this was where my enjoyment of going down on.

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